© 2014 The World Post Times
LONDON, ENGLAND -- At a conference at Cambridge University on Wednesday, leading paleontologists from around the world announced they have figured out exactly how and why the dinosaurs became extinct some 65 million years ago. The group of over two dozen of the most respected paleontologists and other scientists in the world unanimously concluded that dinosaurs became extinct because they just didn’t give a damn to exist anymore.
Renowned Chinese paleontologist, Din Wu Chin, who has led many expeditions in China to study remains of hadrosaurs, pachycephalosaurs and sauropods, stated “At some point near the end of the Cretaceous Period, the dinosaurs had evolved enough to come to the realization just how crappy their lives were. And that was the beginning of the end of the dinosaurs.”
Based on years of studying dinosaur remains throughout the world and using modern technology to make comparisons of brain volume to body mass in dinosaurs in over a hundred different species, and studying the patterns of dinosaur activity in over one thousand sites, scientists were able to conclude with certainty that the dinosaur became extinct basically by choice.
The report issued by the distinguished committee noted dinosaurs had a horrible life. According to the report, “The dinosaur was ill-equipped to enjoy any part of its life. They couldn’t burrow or make homes or store food like mammals, or sit safely up in a tree like a bird. And due to their enormous size, they couldn’t even hide like smaller animals. The typical dinosaur sloshed around all day, hungry with nowhere to rest, in constant fear of being killed. You can’t blame them for giving up.”
The leading authority in Russian paleontology, Leonid Dobronravov, confirmed the committee’s conclusions: “We now know the extinction wasn’t caused by a change in climate, or some big-ass meteor hitting Mexico's Yucatan peninsula. The dinosaurs simply took matters in their own hands and went extinct.” Dobronravov warned that species today could face similar extinction. “If alligators and crocodiles were just a little bit smarter, they’d probably check out too.”
American paleontologist Cynthia Reeves agreed there was no other conclusion which could be drawn from the massive amount of evidence gathered from the top paleontologists and evolutionary biologists from over twenty nations. Reeves stated emphatically “Each species of dinosaur developed a degree of reptilian remorse - they didn’t care to live, and didn’t care to try to breed and bring other dinosaurs into such a miserable existence. So they basically said ‘Screw this, we’re out of here.’