Pentagon Admits Failure of “Replace a Terrorist With A Mime” Program – Remaining Mimes Recalled Back to U.S.

© 2014 The World Times Post 

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- After learning all 107 mimes placed into action in Afghanistan have been killed, apparently without having accomplished anything, Secretary of State John Kerry announced the cancellation of the “Replace A Terrorist With A Mime” program, also known as “Operation Silent Surge.”  The Pentagon also recalled an unspecified number of mimes waiting to infiltrate Taliban terrorist camps. 

The bold joint plan was developed by the Pentagon with assistance from the CIA and the National Security Council, to coincide with the additional troops the U.S. military sent into war-torn Afghanistan in December 2009 to counter the Taliban resurgence.  

Since 2009, at least 107 mimes, most taken directly off the streets of New York City and Los Angeles, were placed into service in Afghanistan and Pakistan.  The basic foundation of the program was that every time a key figure in a terrorist organization was killed, the U.S. military would then plant a mime directly into the terrorist camp, hoping the short-handed organization would accept the mime as a suitable replacement for the lost terrorist.  It was anticipated the mime would later provide valuable information on terrorist activities, or even rise to prominence in the organization and stop future acts of terrorism.

Chairman of the Joint Chiefs Staff Martin Dempsey defended the military’s initiation of the now controversial program, although he admitted the program did not succeed as anticipated. Dempsey stated that before starting the program, “Experts at the Pentagon concluded the mime should be able to infiltrate the terrorist groups much easier than anybody else.  And because the mime would not be expected to talk, our experts felt that would prevent the mime’s true identity from ever being discovered.”   

Dempsey added “At the time, the mime program made a lot of sense.  We just didn’t anticipate the terrorists would kill the mimes.”

Secretary of State Kerry further disclosed that during the four years of the program, the military had not received one communication from any of the mimes after being placed in the terrorist camps.  Kerry suggested the military should have been more careful, but the lack of any communication from the mimes was not alarming “because after all, they are mimes.”

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